“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
―Anais Nin
Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what it means to be truly alive. About who I’ve been in the world and going forward in the time I have left , who I want to become. I guess this sort of introspection is not surprising in the aftermath of COVID, but if I’m being honest, turning 62 was an eye opener. I realized in an instant that I’ve lived more of my life at this point than less of it. It’s been a great life so far, but I’m closer to the end of it than the beginning and that’s a simple fact.
So the question remains….Who am I going to be for the next 30 years and hopefully more? What do I want to accomplish? Am I willing any longer to be, do or put up with anything that is no longer authentically me for the sake of simply fitting in? Or being “ normal” ? Am I willing to put up any longer with relationships and groups of people that I’ve completely outgrown, simply to be approved of ? Am I willing to hide my true nature away simply because I’m afraid of what others might think of me?
Every time I ask myself this question, the answer is a resounding NO and I’m curious to know if any of you are going through the same process?
To me, it’s become all about allowing for the magic to find its way back in. There are so many things that we try to force..so many places we try to fit in. Yet, if we’re honest with ourselves, the time comes where we have to finally say yes to our inner promptings, the ones that want us to play full out in our lives in whatever way that looks for us, versus staying small and trying to squish ourselves down to fit into a situation that we no longer are enjoying. To me, that allowing comes when we’re willing to let go and be surprised by what the universe might have in store for us. Sometimes it’s the very thing that we resist the most that is the most restorative for us.
For example, here I sit, in a lovely coffee store connected to the entire world by Wifi . I live in the 21st century and I have every bit of technology that I need. I'm a woman who was the President of a prominent gift business for over 30 years, so I do know my way around the world of retail.
I have clean water. I have plenty of food. I can get a ride anywhere that I like by ordering it on my phone, or dinner delivered from my favorite restaurants. I have survived a pandemic and fortunately everyone I love has too. I have powerful computers that have connected me to dozens of readers all over the globe and I have a deep and treasured relatedness with people that I will never meet in person but yet know very well. I wouldn't give that up for anything and yet....
Lately all I want to do is spend my days tucked away in my gardens planting and harvesting, eating fresh asparagus still warm from the sun, while sipping the fresh herb teas that I’ve blended just for me and my family. I've spent decades learning to harvest, tincture herbs and promote healing with plants and other earth energies. My favorite way of seeing the world is on horseback or on foot. I love a quieter life.
I've spent 40 delightful years so far with a man who is more moved by love of me, our son and daughter in love and our family than he is by anything else except for his guitars, piano and the Celtic music that he loves. I had a fascinating dream when we first met, a knowing from many centuries ago that I was winding his body in a beautiful silk cloth and anointing it with precious oils. It was a joyful dream, strange but not at all sad. Shortly after that I had another dream, of standing on a craggy stone balcony in another lifetime with him and seeing the Beltane fires burning joyfully in the hay fields. Those dreams have never left me and that was when I knew for certain that I'd met the man who is my soulmate, the twin ray for all of my lives, past, present and future. He moves through this crazy new world with the ease of a sage but he also knows how to milk a cow and dance to "Strip the Willow".
He owns a kilt and he is perfect for me. I love that even blindfolded I'd know him by his touch and his scent.....at heart he’s a gardener and everything grows green and wick in his care. He’s not one to avoid change… he embraces it with the wisdom of a peaceful warrior. He has always encouraged me to follow my dreams and he’s a huge reason that I find myself recreating what’s next.
He demands it of me and I’m grateful. He insists that I never give up on my dreams.
I have always dreamt of a world where we are so connected to the earth and each other again and I'm finally beginning to see it appearing, even among all of the current madness. There are farmers markets on every corner where we gather together to buy our fresh foods for the coming week and listen to local music while we catch up with our friends. I can't walk into a bar without being offered the latest craft beer or mead, in fact I've even begun to occasionally make my own beer and cheese again because everything is readily available for me to do so. Many of us knit and sew and weave our own textiles. We're keeping chickens and bees. We make candles, soaps and perfumes, tinctures, tonics and teas.
Kitchen gardens have sprung up in backyards all over my neighborhood and so have community gardens. Every city that I've been to recently has many delightful distilleries, bakeries, fromageries and indoor markets. What's next? Hopefully a comeback of the community bread and stew oven? And why not? Food connects us as a community. When we break bread together, our silly differences dissolve into laughter.
Speaking of bread baking… If you’ve never tried baking bread in a cast iron Dutch oven, you truly must. Here Michael Ruhlman shows us the ins and outs of it. I promise though..It’s some of the easiest and best bread you’ll ever bake and taste!
One fabulous by-product of the pandemic is that so many of us are gardening and preserving food again. Last year I couldn’t even find ball jars because everyone was learning to can their homegrown fruits and vegetables. My email is pinging constantly with questions about herbalism, Reiki and natural healing. It seems that we are yearning for something real, older knowledge that is tried and true. The old ways may be slower, but they are beautiful remedies for the heart and soul and I am more convinced than ever that there is no prescription for healing more elegant and effective than the food at the end of your fork, the water in your glass and the healing touch of loving hands.
I'm just a good old fashioned HedgeWitch who loves nothing more than to spend long days in her gardens tending her healing herbs, cooking for her family (4 legged and 2) and friends while brewing delightful potions to help keep you healthy , lovely and sexy all over! I have been a practitioner of the Wise Woman Traditions of Herbalism, Shamanic Soul Retrieval and past life regression work, Reiki, medical intuition and hands on energy healing for many decades now. I also love to help others craft rituals and celebrations for conception, birth and end of life and everything in between. People are always wondering why I’m smiling...I enjoy what I do, I love to help others learn to live beautifully and to live well.
I sometimes read the news and I wonder, will we be able to save ourselves in time? Will we be able to survive our descent into the madness that the industrial revolution ushered in well over a century ago?
I think that as long as there is music to dance to, apples to pick and love to be made, there is hope.
Funny thing is, even when surrounded by all of this technology I still hear the rhythms of the Bodhran’s and the voice of the fiddle singing to me of the old ways that are calling me home.
That’s when I think to myself…It’s time to turn off the news. It’s time to live now.
That’s when it’s time to rest and play. It’s time to practice mindfulness and gratitude. It’s time to become exactly who you have always wanted to be.
Like I always say to my clients…” It’s not unlike when you’re on an airplane and the stewardess says “In case of a cabin pressure emergency, put on your own mask first before assisting others.”
In this last two years where time has stood still over and over again, haven’t we learned that almost everything else can wait while we remember to breathe and to live?
If you’re not going to do it now, when will you ever do it?
Take the chance..I promise you won’t be sorry.
Thymeless Quotes:
Are you nurturing any precious dreams? Are you ready to spring into action on them, but are not quite sure where to start? Who are you becoming? I’m asking so that I can support you!
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Inspirational as always.