Let go. Your body knows the way home.
How to Prepare for a Peaceful Night’s Sleep.
I’ve always believed that sleep is as much about trust as it is about rest. We spend so much time holding everything together—taking care of others, managing work, keeping things afloat—that by the time night comes, it’s no wonder our minds and bodies resist letting go. Sleep requires a kind of surrender, a quiet agreement with ourselves that the world can spin without us for a while.
And yet, so many of us struggle to rest—especially during perimenopause and menopause. Even when our bodies are tired, our minds keep working. Dreams turn into problem-solving sessions. The to-do list carries over into sleep. Or sometimes it’s deeper—old fears and anxieties finding their way to the surface when everything else finally quiets down.
Sleep changes during this phase of life, and not necessarily for the better. Our hormones are shifting, sometimes dramatically. Hot flashes, night sweats, cortisol spikes, and increased sensitivity to stress all make it harder to rest deeply. What used to work doesn’t seem to work anymore, and suddenly, sleep becomes something you have to figure out all over again.
But sleep, like anything else, is something we can prepare for. Just like we nourish ourselves with good food, movement, and care during the day, we can create the right conditions for peaceful sleep to unfold naturally—even in the middle of hormonal shifts.
Here’s how:
Create a Transition Ritual
The mind can’t go from full-speed thinking to deep rest without a bridge. If you’ve ever gone straight from answering emails to lying in bed, you know how hard it is to shut your mind off. Sleep comes more easily when we give our minds permission to soften first.
What I’ve Found Helpful:
• Brew a cup of herbal tea—chamomile, lemon balm, and valerian root are old friends of mine at bedtime.
• Light a candle or turn down the lights. Soft light signals to your brain that the day is winding down.
• If thoughts are swirling, write them down—just a quick brain dump in a notebook to tell your mind, I’ve got this handled; you can rest now.
• Read something light and comforting before bed—fiction works beautifully for this.
This isn’t about controlling your sleep. It’s about creating an environment where sleep can naturally arrive.
Sleep isn’t something you force. It’s something you allow.
Calm the Nervous System with Breathwork
When you’re in fight-or-flight mode, your body doesn’t care that it’s bedtime. Your nervous system is still on high alert, scanning for danger. Breathwork is one of the most powerful ways I know to calm that response and shift into a restful state.
Try This Simple Technique:
• Sit or lie down with one hand on your heart and the other on your belly.
• Inhale slowly through your nose for 4 counts.
• Hold for 4 counts.
• Exhale through your mouth for 6–8 counts.
• Repeat for 3–5 minutes.
The long exhale is the key here. It tells your nervous system, You are safe now. You can let go.
The body listens when we speak to it gently.
Prepare Your Sleep Space
The place where you sleep holds energy. If your bedroom feels chaotic, cluttered, or cold, your body will sense that. Your sleep space should feel like a sanctuary—a place where your mind and body instinctively relax.
What Works for Me:
• Keep the room cool—about 65°F seems to be the magic number (this especially helps with hot flashes).
• Use blackout curtains or an eye mask to block out light.
• Diffuse essential oils—lavender, cedarwood, and Roman chamomile are deeply calming.
• Choose soft, natural fabrics for your sheets and blankets—linen, cotton, or bamboo.
• Keep work and electronics out of the bedroom. Your mind should associate this space with rest, not productivity.
Your sleep space should feel like a safe nest—a place where you can be held.
Guide Your Mind Toward Better Dreams
We forget that we can influence our dreams. If you go to bed thinking about tomorrow’s problems, your mind will work them out while you sleep. But if you feed your mind something peaceful and beautiful before bed, it will follow that path instead.
What Helps Me:
• Listen to a guided sleep meditation or gentle music.
• Visualize a peaceful place—an ocean, a forest, or a garden. Imagine the sounds, the scents, and the feeling of being there.
• Repeat a mantra like “I am safe. I am calm. I am resting.”
• Picture your body relaxing piece by piece—from your feet all the way to the crown of your head.
Your mind wants to rest. It just needs a little guidance.
Feed your mind something beautiful, and it will give you beautiful dreams.
Support Your Sleep with Herbs and Supplements
Sometimes your body needs a little extra support. Stress, aging, and even modern life can interfere with sleep. A few gentle plant allies and nutrients can help settle the body and ease you into deeper rest.
What I’ve Used with Success:
• Magnesium Glycinate (200–400 mg): Helps relax muscles and quiet the mind.
• L-Theanine (100–200 mg): Promotes calm without drowsiness.
• Ashwagandha: Helps lower cortisol and shift the body into rest mode.
• Valerian Root: A traditional remedy for deep, uninterrupted sleep (though it’s not for everyone).
• Reishi Mushroom: Helps support the nervous system and may deepen dream states.
Disclaimer: These suggestions are based on traditional and functional use. Always check with a healthcare provider before adding new herbs or supplements to your routine, especially if you are taking medication or managing a health condition.
The Role of Caffeine, Alcohol, and Red Meat
I discovered during perimenopause and menopause that I had to rethink my relationship with caffeine, alcohol, and red meat.
I used to have a glass of wine at night to relax, but then I’d find myself wide awake at 2:00 a.m., restless and anxious. It turns out there’s science behind that. Studies have shown that while alcohol initially acts as a sedative, it disrupts deep sleep and causes more frequent wake-ups later in the night.
Caffeine is another tricky one. I found that I could handle a small amount of coffee in the morning, but anything beyond that would leave me feeling wired and restless at night. That’s because caffeine stays in your system much longer than you think—it can take up to 12 hours to fully metabolize.
Red meat was a surprising one. I noticed that if I ate a heavy, protein-rich meal—especially with red meat—too close to bedtime, my sleep was noticeably disrupted. Red meat is harder to digest, and it increases body temperature and metabolic activity, which can interfere with deep sleep.
Cutting out alcohol and limiting caffeine and red meat to earlier in the day made a profound difference in the quality of my sleep. My mind felt calmer at night, and when I did sleep, it felt deeper and more restorative.
It’s not about deprivation—it’s about giving your body the conditions it needs to truly rest.
Hormonal Shifts and Sleep
Perimenopause and menopause change everything about sleep. Estrogen and progesterone, which play a key role in regulating the sleep-wake cycle, start to fluctuate and decline. Cortisol sensitivity increases. The body’s temperature regulation shifts.
That’s why we wake up drenched in sweat or feel wide awake at 3:00 a.m. even though we’re exhausted. It’s not your fault—it’s your body adjusting to new rhythms.
That’s why creating these sleep rituals matters so much. We can’t stop the hormonal changes, but we can support the body through them with nourishment, movement, and rest.
Final Thoughts: Sleep as an Act of Trust
Sleep is an act of faith. To sleep well, you have to trust that you’re safe, that you’re held, that the world will keep spinning without you for a few hours.
Rest isn’t weakness. Rest is strength. The work will still be there tomorrow—but you will be better equipped to face it after you’ve let yourself rest.
So tonight, let go of the idea that sleep has to look perfect. Let yourself sink into the quiet. Let your mind and body soften. Let sleep find you, and let yourself receive it fully.
Let go. Your body knows the way home.
With affection always,
Beth
Most Photos from Unsplash and the bridge photo is from giverny.com