Dancing with the Fiery Flames of Menopause!
For all my ladies and the men who love you💋
I’m 62 now. I've been through with peri-menopause and well into menopause now for almost 10 years. Let me just say that life after your last menstrual period is sweet in a way that I never ever expected. You will be pleasantly surprised!
You stop putting up with anything that you don’t want in your life. You start focusing on YOU. It’s easy to give up though and just get stagnant and feel like life is over, but don’t do it. Don’t give in! Take care of yourself now and turn the next 40 years into the healthiest, happiest and sexiest time of your life! I run into so many women right now who are just beginning to go through it and they’re just miserable, so I thought that perhaps, this article below that I wrote way back when needed some revisiting.
BSG
I don't know about you, but menopause has been quite the whirlwind ride! For me it started in the spring of 2001 and I'm currently still going through it. My doctor told me that if I had one year period free I could pretty much start jumping for joy, so I've been counting the months and before I knew it I was at the 10 month mark. I was ecstatic and pretty darn sure that I was going to be at my year without any trouble at all! That was until September 13th when it came roaring back into my life with the all the vengeance of my thirteen year old self !
I tell you this story to let you know that although Menopause IS a long and bumpy ride, but it doesn't have to be a truly awful one. After all, we women have been doing this for centuries. There are good reasons for it and it's hardly ever a journey with a straight line. Hence my period after 10 months and it was a rough one, which after all of that time I think was to probably be expected. I knew it was coming...I even dreamt about it. Then there was of course the moodiness, the night sweats and hot flashes, the bloat and the mandatory pimples.
Quick tip! You will want a wardrobe of fabulous fans. This will cool you naturally without the body shock that air conditioning provides. You won’t know what I’m talking about until you try one💋 Besides which, they are so much fun to flirt with.
At first I was really pissed given that Jim and I had been counting the days until we could have wild, wonderful and unprotected sex but I finally settled down and decided that maybe it was a gift. I've always been too busy to appreciate the type of relaxation that 3 days of uninterrupted time could provide so I decided that perhaps it was time to finally begin.
Centuries ago when we were walking an older path, our monthly menstruation was a time when women could remove themselves from the real stresses of daily life with freedom and honor. With this in mind I took the opportunity to celebrate having my period in a way that I had never done before. I figured if I was going to have one, that I would give myself the time and space to do so. For three days I took naps and long leisurely walks. I brushed my horse. I read books, I drank relaxing and tonifying teas of raspberry leaf, chamomile and dandelion and used a blend of essential oil of lavender, Bulgarian rose, chamomile and rose geranium mixed with a bit of almond oil in my baths to relax me and help ease the cramps.
Salads of violets, violet leaves and other cooling herbs became my norm. I gave myself full reiki treatments. I’d learned before that if I took a capsule of evening primrose oil twice a day my breasts weren't quite as sore so I added those back in too. I ate great food, lots of vegetables and cooked rich , jellied and nourishing bone broths. I cut back on the coffee, sugar and alcohol because in my experience these 3 things can make the experience of peri- menopause much worse.
As a side note, one of the best things that I’ve done was grab Jim a couple of times a week, give him a huge kiss and say “ Honey… I apologize right now for anything that comes out of my mouth today that’s hurtful , moody or nasty. It’s not personal. I adore you so just walk away for a few, unless you find me on the floor sobbing. Then it might be time for an extra hug. “
This actually works well!
One of the most important I’ve learned is to stop fretting about sex. Often , you’re not going to want it. Instead focus on intimacy. Focus on creating extraordinary moments of touching and conversation. Let your partner know if something hurts, which is usually why women stop wanting intercourse. Sex will come back, I promise, but if your body needs a break then just ask for it.
There’s nothing wrong with that and hopefully your partner will welcome that conversation, instead of the awkwardness of simply not knowing.
Remember…Communication and a really great lube recipe go a long way. I say make your own or buy a good organic one. The last thing you need touching your tender tissues is something made with harsh ingredients. 100 percent organic Aloe Vera gel works beautifully and will generally not throw off your ph balance. Trust me when I say that lube is your friend even if you’re timid. Your body is changing and too much dryness and not enough lubrication can produce painful cysts that sometimes have to be surgically drained. No, No, No! It just doesn’t have to be that way💋
For my last years of my periods I’ve used a remarkable invention called a Diva Cup. It was the best thing I’ve ever bought. Yes, you have to insert it, but truthfully it’s easy. I promise you that if you can have intercourse, you can insert a Diva Cup even if you’re squeamish about touching yourself. It’s not bulky and weird like a pad and it doesn’t dry out your vaginal tissues like tampons do . You basically have to empty it twice a day. No weird smell which is the byproduct of using hyper absorbent products in your vag every month that dry you up.
No , it will not fall out because your muscles will contract around it. I promise and after the first couple of times you’ll understand the rhythms of your body and flow better than ever.
The best thing about the Diva Cup? Using it has definitely eased my cramping and many of my friends have reported the same thing.
For what I thought was the last time, I carried a bit of my menstrual blood out to the garden and gave it back to the Earth. I actually thanked my body for having the strength and desire to toss out another egg and before long I realized that I was actually having fun.
I may have had too good a time and gotten too connected, because as I write this my body feels as if its going to happen again. I'm pretty sure that I ovulated this month. WOW...I'm 53! The key here is to just relax about the process. One thing for sure is that it's not over until it's over. Added hormones aren't necessarily the answer and neither are antidepressants because there are so many complications associated with them. Please note that there are the women who really need that extra support so I'm not suggesting that they should never be used. I'm just saying, why not use them as the last resort instead of the first. I know that it's almost impossible to get blocks of time to treat yourself as well as I'm suggesting , but for at least one day of your cycle I beg you try even if it's when you get home at night and shut the door for a few hours after everyone is fed.
For the record, baths ARE my personal sanity. Not the bubble baths of the past, because those can dry out our already hot and irritated tissues leading to even more complications like yeast and urinary tract infections. Instead I use simple essential oil blends like the ones I’ve mentioned above always mixed with a carrier like sweet almond oil so your skin stays soft and nourished.
Menopause is a rite of passage, just like menstruation. We know from all of our friends and our mothers just how difficult this life change can be. I'd like to suggest that there is another way to look at this significant time by balancing our work and play, looking honestly into our lives , our relationships with ourselves , each other and the larger world around us.
Take time for yourself during this transition and ask yourself what your body and spirit want now. Then listen and act. The best part of this whole ride is that you stop tolerating what you don't want in your life and the next time you hear the word BITCH, remember....that's a compliment. You're a "Being in control of herself!" or even better a WITCH...a "Woman in control of herself!" Either is a compliment in my book!
Have you discovered any wonderful tips that you’d like to share? I’d love to hear them! Please do so in the comments below! Also, for your own safety please remember to check with your Doctor before adding any herbal supplements into your regimen.
Yours in Beauty & Magic!
Beth