Chapter One: A Seat for All

Forage and Gather

“You were never meant to belong by shrinking. You belong by showing up.”

— from the blessing at the end of this chapter

I didn’t know I was stepping away until I was already halfway gone.

At first, it felt like fatigue — a quiet ache I couldn’t name. I told myself I just needed a break. But deep down, I knew. I was changing. And the shape of the group I had once fit so well no longer matched the shape of my soul.

This was a group I had loved. I had poured myself into it — with time, heart, presence, and purpose. It had once felt like home. A place where I first learned to make jellies and jams, and how to propagate the herbs and roses I loved so much. But somewhere along the way, the walls that once held me began to press in. The language no longer rang true. The rules felt heavier than the belonging. The hierarchy, perhaps once necessary, now felt like a closed door I didn’t want to knock on anymore.

What followed was not anger. It was grief.

Grief for the years I had offered with an open …